beauty...

I am the worst at studying.

I seriously am. I feel like I already know all the material, which I do know it, but you can never review it too many times.
I know the answers, but the thing is I will be presenting the answers in front of at least 200 people, nerve raking? Oh yes. If it were written test I would probably kick ass at it.
We have reviewed the exact same material every day you pretty much become comfortable talking about it. I know the material, but my problem is getting it out there. Putting it into words.

So I am going to give it to you…
Haha
You are probably so happy you are reading this.

So I was talking to my contact in San Luis Potosi, Saul, who told me people were laughing at him at the idea of having a screenings, and he told me that the question that he was being asked the most was the following.

Why should I care about people in Africa?
Which every time I get that question the same thing pops into my head. That being, “how can you not relate to the human condition, you fucking asshole?” Something inside me kind of tells me that won’t go to well from stage.
I honestly don’t know how to answer questions like that.
I could go into a whole we are human, and we should care about our fellow human speech, but something inside me tells me that those people probably won’t care.

I do believe that. I love the generation I live in, because we are the ones who have started living not with the belief of us being part of a country, but us being a more global generation. I care for the people in Africa, because they are people. I know that if I were in their situation I would want other people to help the injustice in my community stop. I refuse to believe that I have no say in what happens in Africa. If other humans are getting killed, because one man is evil, I don’t care if you are in the other side of the globe. I refuse to stand, and do nothing about it.

It makes me sad that people don’t understand the importance of it.
For example, one of my friends, I would love to type out the entire conversation we had just so you can see how completely ignorant and evil people can be sometimes.

This happened kind of a long time ago, it might have been maybe the second week I had been here in San Diego. It still pisses me off, because it’s people like him that can totally bring a person down. One of my friends (kind of shaky, he pisses me off every two weeks or so) texted me asking me how I was, I of course was a happy butterfly so I told him I was doing great, he of course in his pessimist ways asked me why, I told him that I was finally doing something I cared about. He went into telling me that I was surrounded with people that had the same hope I did.

Him: “haha hope 4 wat? A better tomorrow? Haha”
Me: “yep”
Him: “lame”

That was part of our text message conversation.

It went on to me telling him to let me believe what I wanted to believe. Not to try and make mine seem lesser.

Him: “the thing is that u kant make that change u need thousands and its good that ure doing it I just believe that human beings destroy everythhn its on our nature”
Me: “I agree with you in aspect. I do not believe that I am going to stop the war. I am not claiming that. How did slavery stop? How did women get the right to vote? How did homosexuals get the right to work? Through the advocacy of a few. It starts with a few.”

BAM! History lesson! I love history….

Him: I see ure point but u should first be tryin to stop our war”

Oh! It’s kind of funny cos this is the exact type of comments people throw at you. The sad thing is that I can’t really answer people the way I would answer him.

He later went into asking me who I thought I was to interfere in Africa, into telling me I had been brainwashed, that things like that didn’t only happen in Africa, to be interested in something other than Africa, and laughing at me.

Some people are evil. He is right about that. I tend to forget about that, because beautiful people surround me, yes we all have our flaws, but the things they do overshadows them.

I honestly do not know where I am getting at.

I think it’s probably something along the lines of one dreams can easily be crushed by one person, but those dreams have the potential to be raised up again by 100 more people.

While one man is terrorizing several communities, there are thousands of people ready to stand and make him stop.
The world is surrounded by evilness, but what I have found out is that there is much more beauty to over shadow that evilness. You just have to open your eyes.